Posts Tagged ‘target

08
Mar
09

excuse-me-dance

You know when you are walking straight towards someone and you end up doing the excuse-me-dance? You both are trying to get out of each other’s way, and you both end up going in the same direction, and then you both switch back. Again and again. It’s kind of funny, right?

Well today I was at Target, happily minding my own business when I encountered a very large, big-headed, bald man (you’ll see why these details are crucial in a moment). We were heading straight for each other down an aisle and we ended up doing the excuse-me-dance.  No big deal…or so I thought! The man passes by me and says, “Fucking Pinhead”.  Seriously? Was that really necessary? I’m sorry that you wasted a nano-second on me doing the excuse-me-dance but I don’t think name calling is in order.  And ok, I know I have a small head, but I don’t think you should be commenting on anyone’s head.  Dude, your head was freakishly large and insanely reflective. There was a split second where I imagined myself turning around and running full steam into him and tackling him to the ground while screaming “fat-head jerk!!!!”  Instead I walked away fuming and wondering why he was imposing his bad mood on everyone else.

03
Mar
08

materialism – part two

Virtual argument tonight with Derek regarding my post from last night (which he claims was his favorite post yet). Here’s how it went down – this is copied from Gmail chat. Thoughts?

me: i bought a really cute tote/beach bag at target…

Derek: you bought it for yourself?]

you have that basket one

don’t you?

me: yeah, but i bought a new one

that wicker one is too hard to pack

Derek: don’t really practice what you preach do you?

(your blog yesterday)

me: what about it? 

are you saying i’m  materialistic because i bought a beach bag for $14 from target

Derek: you talked all about be ‘materialistic’ 

it’s not the price

me: yeah it is…it’s about having the best things 

Derek: i was just bringing it to your attention

not necessarily 

it doesn’t matter

i didn’t mean to offend you 

me: materialism: a desire for wealth and material possessions with little interest in ethical or spiritual matters

Derek: exactly 

me: you didn’t offend me, i’m telling you that you don’t know the meaning of materialism.

Derek: you clearly don’t

and you even copied and pasted it 

me: whatever – it’s not the same thing

i can’t believe you are saying i’m materialistic because i bought a beach bag/tote at target for $14

Derek: buying things that you already have, therefore don’t need, but think is cute is materialistic

sorry, but it is 

the $14 has nothing to do with it

I’m not fighting with you over IM

sorry I said anything

long pause 

Derek: hello?

me: yeah 

Derek: hi

me: be nice to me 

Derek: k

me: why would you say that? you obviously think i’m materialistic or else you wouldn’t have said it 

Derek: let’s not do this

I really don’t want to fight 

me: well you can’t say something like that and then not explain yourself or redeem yourself

i don’t want to fight either, but you hurt my feelings. 

Derek: I’m sorry bubba

can we cyber hug? 

(I’m hugging you)

Sorry 

didn’t mean to hurt your feelings

me: ok – i wish your cell phone didn’t fall in a toilet 

Derek: me too

me: i love you

 Derek: i love you




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