Posts Tagged ‘relationships

15
Jun
09

same but different.

Same

We both love coffee and tea equally.

We both consider camping one of our favorite activities.

We both like riding bikes – although me more recently than you.

We both enjoy gardening and seeing our edible plants grow.

We each have a strong appreciation and love for the pacific northwest.

We both enjoy playing games.

We both value family and friends.

We are both very loyal to each other.

We both have outgoing personalities.

We both enjoy going out to dinner and cooking. Dinner is an event.

Different

You detest products and bottles on the bathroom counter. I loathe junk on the kitchen counter, taking over all of the cooking space.

I enjoy watching TV, you don’t.

I brush my teeth with hot water. You, cold water.

You like beer – I prefer wine.

I am a fast reader. You, not so much.

You are a good sweeper and you don’t mind it – I hate sweeping.

I prefer my showers scalding hot – you like yours luke warm.

I can tolerate a messy house for a few days but I quickly become agitated and anxious. I’m not sure if it even bugs you.

You are skilled photographer and you have a keen eye for composition. My pics are predictable and uninspiring.

You eat soup with a big spoon; I opt for a smaller one.

Although I do LOVE salty and crunchy snacks like chips, I don’t like my food over-salted and buttered. I don’t. And I don’t understand why this salt-thing is such a point of contention for you. It makes my hands swollen and I retain buckets of water. It’s uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with you personally – I don’t like it when anyone over-salts my food. You don’t eat ground meat, so I stopped cooking it. I don’t make you eat it.

I am bossy in the kitchen – fine, I’ll own it. I think my way is the best way. But you are a taker-overer. If you don’t like how I’m doing something, you’ll take over. You can also be a KIA (know-it-all).

We aren’t the same. We have a lot in common, but we aren’t the same. That’s what makes us work. The good news is that we agree more than we disagree. And we agree on the big things. After eight years (Sunday is our eight year anniversary), there’s no one I’d rather disagree with.

I’m sorry we got in a stupid fight tonight. One thing we definitely both have in common is a mean case of the HUNGRY ANGRIES. I’m sorry. I love you.

Oh, and I don’t throw items in the recycle bin without removing the caps just to make you mad. I promise.

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22
Jul
08

peaks and valleys

I’ll admit it – things are going really well for me lately. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. I’m really enjoying my new job – it’s a new position to navigate through. There are new colleagues to figure out and it’s a new industry to explore. I’m totally loving the challenge. On the home front – I’m still madly in love with Derek and I’m ecstatic about our new living arrangement. I’ve been keeping busy soaking up the great weather, checking the progress of our garden and I’m getting my creative fix through reading incredible books and experimenting with new recipes.

While I’m basking in my newfound love for life, I think Derek is struggling. He seems a little “off” – he doesn’t have the usual bounce to his step. It’s probably not noticeable to anyone except me – and it tugs at my heart to see him down. I believe there are a few contributing factors, none of which I feel comfortable sharing on his behalf.

I feel a little guilty about being so happy right now, while I know he’s not. I know it’s ridiculous, but I can’t help it. Couples experience their peaks and valleys and so do individuals. I think as a couple we are in peak – but individually I am on Mt. McKinley and he is down in a valley. I’m going to give myself a piece of advice: Count your blessings and be grateful. Don’t forget to be extra supportive and understanding.

24
Apr
08

no more good-byes

Derek moves in with me one week from today – for good. Not for a summer. Not for a month. For good. I can’t even explain how liberating and exciting this is. I get to see him every day. I will fall asleep next to him every night and wake up next to him every morning. Happy hour after work? Yes. The market on Sunday mornings? Yep. Sushi for dinner tonight? You know it!

For those of you who have ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how heartbreaking it is. It constantly nags at your heart. It never escapes your sight. You can’t forget it. By Saturday morning, you’re already dreading the Sunday night good-bye. He looks different every time I see him. I know it sounds bizarre, but it’s true.

The pressure to have amazing weekends can also be daunting. What if you get in a fight? Then you’ve wasted a day. What if you have errands to run? That’s boring. Not enough sex? Too bad, because you have to wait two weeks now. Then there’s always the question of other people. Do you include other people in your weekend? Or do you keep to yourselves? These are the realities of a long distance relationship.

For the last seven years, Derek and I have been doing the long distance thing. It’s been ok. We’ve handled it pretty well. What was the alternative? We felt it was our best option. Now I feel like we can handle anything.

As much as I hate to admit it, there are a few positive things about long distance relationships. You build incredible levels of trust – it’s impossible if you don’t trust your partner completely. You learn to appreciate and value each other – you don’t take each other for granted. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. But I’m already fond enough. It’s time to eliminate the absence. No more good-byes.

Twenty years from now, we’ll look back on this time in our relationship and laugh. And we’ll say it was well worth the wait (and then we’ll kiss).




a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.