Posts Tagged ‘moving-in

17
Sep
08

cohabitation

The decision to “live together” is an interesting one. All my life, I thought this decision would be a huge one. A decision I would need to thoroughly contemplate and overanalyze. A decision that would require writing a list of “pros” and “cons”.  One of the biggest decisions of my life.

When other people announced they were “moving in together” I found myself thinking, “Wow, that’s a big step. I hope they are ready.” And it is a big step – I’m not trying to diminish the significance of it. When you take the step, there’s no going back. I think many young couples rush into it. If you aren’t ready for it, moving in together prematurely can put unnecessary stress on a relationship- eventually leading to breakup. Logically, I know all these things to be true.

However, when it was my turn to decide to cohabitate – there was no question in my mind. There was no list. I didn’t even think about it – it was a done deal. It’s funny how quickly I made the decision; I guess I just knew it would work out and that we were ready.

So far I can’t find any downfalls to living with Derek. It has been blissfully wonderful; better than I could have ever hoped for.  Yes, our apartment is a little small, but we make it work. I guess when you know, you just know.

24
Apr
08

no more good-byes

Derek moves in with me one week from today – for good. Not for a summer. Not for a month. For good. I can’t even explain how liberating and exciting this is. I get to see him every day. I will fall asleep next to him every night and wake up next to him every morning. Happy hour after work? Yes. The market on Sunday mornings? Yep. Sushi for dinner tonight? You know it!

For those of you who have ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how heartbreaking it is. It constantly nags at your heart. It never escapes your sight. You can’t forget it. By Saturday morning, you’re already dreading the Sunday night good-bye. He looks different every time I see him. I know it sounds bizarre, but it’s true.

The pressure to have amazing weekends can also be daunting. What if you get in a fight? Then you’ve wasted a day. What if you have errands to run? That’s boring. Not enough sex? Too bad, because you have to wait two weeks now. Then there’s always the question of other people. Do you include other people in your weekend? Or do you keep to yourselves? These are the realities of a long distance relationship.

For the last seven years, Derek and I have been doing the long distance thing. It’s been ok. We’ve handled it pretty well. What was the alternative? We felt it was our best option. Now I feel like we can handle anything.

As much as I hate to admit it, there are a few positive things about long distance relationships. You build incredible levels of trust – it’s impossible if you don’t trust your partner completely. You learn to appreciate and value each other – you don’t take each other for granted. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. But I’m already fond enough. It’s time to eliminate the absence. No more good-byes.

Twenty years from now, we’ll look back on this time in our relationship and laugh. And we’ll say it was well worth the wait (and then we’ll kiss).




a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.