Posts Tagged ‘friendship

18
Apr
11

wednesday night dinners.

As many of you know, in the fall, winter and spring, we have Wednesday Night Dinners (WND) with our friends Stacy and Andre. The concept started because the winters around here are so depressing and we wanted something to look forward to during the week. Basically, we alternate cooking dinners for eachother every Wednesday. It’s safe to say that we’ve sharpened our cooking and eating skills! I have to admit, I’m a little sad that we’ve just finished season 3 (our third year of WND), and we’re moving into the season finales. For the season finales, each couple chooses their favorite dinner that the other couple made. Season Finale Part 1 is this Saturday at Stacy and Andre’s house. For our last supper, we chose their April 6th dinner. I promise to post photos of the two upcoming Season Finales, but in the meantime I thought you might want to see all of the meals we made this year. Derek and I got much more creative as the season went on! Also, click on the following links for last year’s season final #1 dinner and season finale #2 dinner.

Thanks Stacy and Dre for a great season!

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22
Apr
10

today in the car…

Derek: We get along really well, huh?

Me: Yeah, I think so! We better; we’re getting married in 3 months.

Derek: It’s just that I’ve never been friends with someone for ten
years (let alone roommates) and not gotten tired of them.

Me: That’s how you know this is gonna be good!

Me: <<Big smile and warm fuzzy feeling inside>>

11
Apr
10

their daughter’s daughters.

Over the weekend, we remembered, mourned and celebrated the life of a wonderful woman.  She was taken entirely too early and my heart is absolutely broken for the family that she has left behind. Although I felt like I knew her very well, the truth is I didn’t. In total, I probably spent less than a combined 40 hours with her. Most of my knowledge of her is second-hand. But I felt and still feel like I know her very well. I’ve heard the story of her wedding day, and her gnocchi making techniques. I know her hobbies and that she loved Neil Diamond. I know her parenting tactics and her family traditions. I know her in the way that close adult friends know their friend’s parents, thru sharing many, many, many stories.

One thing is for sure – she will not be forgotten. Her family and friends will treasure and protect her memory forever. Remarkable people live on through everyone they touch and she is a testament to that. She leaves behind an incredible legacy: 3 amazing daughters who are strong, warm, accomplished women.  And her daughters will go on to raise their own amazing daughters. And their daughters will raise amazing daughters. And she will live on.

She had many lessons to teach, but there is one in particular that I love and I’d like to share. It’s something she has successfully instilled in her youngest daughter and it’s one of the many reasons I love and adore her…

Don’t ever pass up an opportunity to celebrate, commemorate, give praise or throw a party. Life’s accomplishments and milestones are meant to celebrate. Holidays are important; spend the extra time and make it special. Decorate. Give gifts. Eat. Drink. Make memories. Honor traditions.

07
Feb
10

goodbye.

Dear Karen –

I started drafting this letter in my head last week when I learned of the tragic news, but tonight I realized that I’ve been drafting it for the past nine years.  I have few regrets in my life – true regrets.  But I have a few that involve you. And now I’m too late to make it right. My opportunity is gone, because you are gone.

Karen, I am so sorry that I wasn’t more upfront with you and I’m sorry that you had to find out from someone else. I should have told you myself. I knew that you would be heartbroken that we were dating, and I wasn’t even sure if it was going anywhere. Why upset you if it turned out to be nothing? I realize now how selfish that was.  I tried to apologize at the time, but I’m not sure you really heard me.

More than that though, I will never forgive myself for not fighting harder for our friendship. I let you just slip out of my life. Friends have fights and hurt each other all the time; it happens. We had fought before and recovered. Maybe it was because I was in San Diego, and you were in Bellingham. Maybe it was because you weren’t over him. Maybe it was because we were both too stubborn. Whatever it was, it happened – our friendship dissolved. And I didn’t fight for us. And for that, I’m truly sorry.

I think about how things should have been different for you. I’m not narcissistic enough to think that this event somehow changed your life or really impacted it very much at all. I know you were fighting bigger demons – but WHAT IF? What if we had stayed friends?  Would you still have lost your way? Could I have made a difference? Or helped you to love yourself more? I’ll never know.

I don’t have a high school memory that doesn’t include you. So many memories – so many laughs. We sure had fun. We were so young, but thought we were so old. I’m a better person for having known you. I hope your son will remember how passionate, vibrant and beautiful you were.

We were going to see the pyramids together. Someday I’ll make it there for you. I hope you have found peace.

Spindra

17
Jan
10

to my friend…

I have a good friend who is going through something unimaginable. Truly life altering. I want to protect her privacy, so I won’t give away any details. But I assure you that her situation is heart wrenching.

While you might not know my friend, you probably know someone like her. Upbeat, strong and selfless. She would give you the shirt off her back…without question. And if the situation was reversed, she would know exactly what to do for me and how to console me. But the truth is, I don’t know what to do for her. I’m at a loss. I guess this post is my pathetic attempt to tell her how much I love her and how much I’m thinking about her.

If you are reading this, I want you to know how much I love you and admire your strength. Although we aren’t as close as we used to be – I still consider you to be one my closest and dearest friends. Derek and I will always be here for you. Always. My heart aches for you and I pray for a positive outcome to the situation you are faced with right now. I’m optimistic that everything will unfold as it should. I love you.

15
Jun
09

same but different.

Same

We both love coffee and tea equally.

We both consider camping one of our favorite activities.

We both like riding bikes – although me more recently than you.

We both enjoy gardening and seeing our edible plants grow.

We each have a strong appreciation and love for the pacific northwest.

We both enjoy playing games.

We both value family and friends.

We are both very loyal to each other.

We both have outgoing personalities.

We both enjoy going out to dinner and cooking. Dinner is an event.

Different

You detest products and bottles on the bathroom counter. I loathe junk on the kitchen counter, taking over all of the cooking space.

I enjoy watching TV, you don’t.

I brush my teeth with hot water. You, cold water.

You like beer – I prefer wine.

I am a fast reader. You, not so much.

You are a good sweeper and you don’t mind it – I hate sweeping.

I prefer my showers scalding hot – you like yours luke warm.

I can tolerate a messy house for a few days but I quickly become agitated and anxious. I’m not sure if it even bugs you.

You are skilled photographer and you have a keen eye for composition. My pics are predictable and uninspiring.

You eat soup with a big spoon; I opt for a smaller one.

Although I do LOVE salty and crunchy snacks like chips, I don’t like my food over-salted and buttered. I don’t. And I don’t understand why this salt-thing is such a point of contention for you. It makes my hands swollen and I retain buckets of water. It’s uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with you personally – I don’t like it when anyone over-salts my food. You don’t eat ground meat, so I stopped cooking it. I don’t make you eat it.

I am bossy in the kitchen – fine, I’ll own it. I think my way is the best way. But you are a taker-overer. If you don’t like how I’m doing something, you’ll take over. You can also be a KIA (know-it-all).

We aren’t the same. We have a lot in common, but we aren’t the same. That’s what makes us work. The good news is that we agree more than we disagree. And we agree on the big things. After eight years (Sunday is our eight year anniversary), there’s no one I’d rather disagree with.

I’m sorry we got in a stupid fight tonight. One thing we definitely both have in common is a mean case of the HUNGRY ANGRIES. I’m sorry. I love you.

Oh, and I don’t throw items in the recycle bin without removing the caps just to make you mad. I promise.

07
Jun
09

box o’ treasures.

I’m not much of a pack rat. Unnecessary clutter makes me a little anxious. Even if I wanted to be – my apartment wouldn’t allow for it. I keep very few “keepsakes” – it’s just not my style. Last week while visiting my mom, she informed my sister and me that we each had a box of high school stuff to take with us. Reluctantly I carted it home, assuming it was all junk. These are items I haven’t looked at or missed in many, many years.

The box sat in my bedroom for a week untouched. Finally, I had the time to dig through it and it was like opening a window to my past.  There are a couple things worth noting and reflecting on.

#1 My generation spent way too much time writing notes. Today’s high school kids send texts; we wrote notes. Lengthy notes with bright colored pens, varied fonts and intricate folding schemes. It’s funny, because reading through them now as an adult, it was clear that the content was far less important than the presentation. Of course, some of them held juicy secrets, but most of them were the equivalent of a meaningless doodle, a means to pass the time. Now, I wish I could collect all the notes from my girlfriends. I would organize them and publish them into a book – chronicling the defining, shaping and “important” events of our young lives from each of our unique perspectives.

#2 Digging through all my high school artifacts, I was both humored and humiliated by my self-perception. I was naively grown-up and painfully confident.

#3 I had an amazing group of girlfriends –full of life, supportive, loving and unfailing. Undoubtedly, they helped to form my ideas of friendship and relationships in general. We laughed, we cried, we fought (rarely) and then we laughed some more. I’ve been fortunate my entire life to have amazing girlfriends.  Sometimes it makes me sad that we all aren’t as close as we used to be. Part of me feels deeply guilty and responsible for not making more of an effort, and part of me isn’t convinced that it would have made much of a difference. We still keep in touch, but it’s not the same. We have grown-up and we have pushed our own paths.  Nonetheless, I miss them fiercely.

Against my natural instincts to purge anything I haven’t used in a year, I decided to keep the box o’ treasures.




a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.