Posts Tagged ‘depression

22
Jul
08

peaks and valleys

I’ll admit it – things are going really well for me lately. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. I’m really enjoying my new job – it’s a new position to navigate through. There are new colleagues to figure out and it’s a new industry to explore. I’m totally loving the challenge. On the home front – I’m still madly in love with Derek and I’m ecstatic about our new living arrangement. I’ve been keeping busy soaking up the great weather, checking the progress of our garden and I’m getting my creative fix through reading incredible books and experimenting with new recipes.

While I’m basking in my newfound love for life, I think Derek is struggling. He seems a little “off” – he doesn’t have the usual bounce to his step. It’s probably not noticeable to anyone except me – and it tugs at my heart to see him down. I believe there are a few contributing factors, none of which I feel comfortable sharing on his behalf.

I feel a little guilty about being so happy right now, while I know he’s not. I know it’s ridiculous, but I can’t help it. Couples experience their peaks and valleys and so do individuals. I think as a couple we are in peak – but individually I am on Mt. McKinley and he is down in a valley. I’m going to give myself a piece of advice: Count your blessings and be grateful. Don’t forget to be extra supportive and understanding.

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23
Mar
08

post-vacation blues

The posts were scarce last week – I know. Mentally it has been a rough week. I have a horrible case of the post vacation blues. Without a doubt, it’s the worst case I’ve ever had.

I’m sure you can relate. Our recent trip to Mexico was a serious eye opener for me. I don’t care what anyone says, Mexicans do not live a sub-par life. In fact, I’d say their quality of life is better than ours. They’ve got it good. They focus their attention on important things like family, friends and food!

This last week I’ve been totally distracted. I haven’t gone to the gym all week – I just can’t bring myself to go. My apartment is a disaster zone – the dishes are piling up. I’ve been eating horribly because the grocery store just seems ridiculous. My job is boring me because it seems trivial. And to top it all off, I’m sporting a bad attitude.

In general – I’ve lost my focus. No matter how hard I try, my thoughts drift back to Punta Mita. My body physically aches for the warm breeze and hot sun. I can practically taste the fresh seafood and tart margaritas. Most of all, I miss the simplistic life that Mexico represents. It’s a place where work wasn’t a primary focus of my life (monopolizing 9 hours of each day). It’s a place where I was able to be an attentive girl friend. A place where I could read to my heart’s content. A place without the stress of my daily life. I know those of you who know me are rolling your eyes right now and are thinking “Kindra, you bring unnecessary stress and anxiety on yourself. “ I know. But I can’t help it. Punta Mita helped me to escape all of that.

Soon, it’ll be just another vacation. My tan will fade. The sand-flea bites will disappear. And my body will forget the warmth of Mexico and will stop recoiling at the damp Seattle weather. At this point, I’m hoping it happens sooner than later. I’m not sure how much longer I can take this horrible case of post-vacation blues. Here’s to a new week.




a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.
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