Posts Tagged ‘braces


dental update

As you may remember from yesterday’s post, I was having extreme anxiety about going to the dentist. Well, today I was brutally reminded why I don’t go to the dentist.  Here’s the short version of the story. 


  • Cavities: 1
  • Crowns needed: 1 (aren’t crowns for grandparents? Just hand me a cane too while you’re at it)
  • Hours for deep cleaning needed: 4 (need to schedule that appt – fun)
  • Braces Needed: Yes (but not likely going to happen anytime soon – boo, hiss, snarl)
  • Baby Teeth Remaining: 5
  • Extra teeth in mouth: 1
  • Wisdom Teeth: Nope (never had ‘em.  I swear. They called me “especially evolved”)
  • Plaque condition: Good
  • Gum condition: Fair


  • Nitrous Oxide (overall, it’s pretty decent stuff)
  • The staff was friendly
  • The hygienist actually described himself as “smokin’ hot”.  Hilarious.


  • Nausea that followed the appt – probably from the nitrous oxide
  • The staff reassuring me that I am a freak and a modern medical miracle. 
  • The really fun and detailed dental plan that they put together for me – complete with a budget.  As if my parents didn’t spend enough freaking money on my teeth, now I have to too. Awesome. Effing awesome. 

dental anxiety

I am ashamed to say that it has been a little over five years since I’ve been to the dentist. I’m not really sure where those five years went and I have no excuse for not going. But now that it’s been so long, I’m really nervous about going.

I suspect that my dental issues are deep rooted. As a child, I had mangled teeth. I’m talking ugly, crooked, buck teeth. As if that wasn’t torture enough, I had a severe overbite. I suffered through five years of orthodontics during which my mouth housed every possible dental contraption known to mankind: braces, retainers, spacers, head gear (2 different kinds), rubber bands, etc. I had one retainer that I still remember vivdly – it was called a Bionator. I know, it sounds like a weapon of mass destruction. It clamped my upper and lower jaw together at all times, so I had to learn how to talk without opening my mouth. Not very much fun for a 4th grader. One dentist actually turned my mouth into a case study to discuss and ponder at his weekly dental meetings. I think he thought this would make me happy, but instead I recoiled in disgust.

In 9th grade, they finally removed my braces and I cried all day. Of course I was happy to get them off, but I felt like I was losing a part of myself. Without them, I looked different and my teeth felt slimy.

I’m sure tomorrow will be fine (I’m hoping they can give me nitrous oxide to curb my anxiety). I know I need to break my dental boycott before all of my teeth fall out. I fully suspect that I have a mouthful of cavities. They will marvel at my five remaining baby teeth and doubt me when I tell them I’ve never had wisdom teeth. I hope my kids get my husband’s teeth.

a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.