Archive for the 'baby' Category

22
Jul
12

sigh of relief…

I know, I know, I know. It’s been FOREVER.  I’m just so darn tired and busy in the evenings, blogging always seems to find its way to the back burner. Much of my energy over the last couple weeks has been spent on childcare for Jolie. Unfortunately, she got kicked out of daycare. The bottom line is that she needs a lot of attention and our daycare woman didn’t feel like she could give her that attention. I was devastated when it happened. I really loved the daycare and it was affordable. But ultimately, I had to get over it and move on. Luckily, my sister has been able to bail us out and watch Jolie in the interim. What would I do without her?!?  However I am pleased to announce…drumroll please…I hired a nanny on Friday and she is awesome!! The search is over! It’s a huge relief to me.

Here is a recent photo of my little daycare dropout. 🙂

19
Jun
12

randomness.

It’s been so long since I posted. And I’d really like to post a thoughtful and meaningful entry. But frankly, I’m just too tired to put that much thought into a post right now.  Instead, a laundry list of randomness will have to do.

– Jolie started rolling over last week. It was SO exciting and sad at the same time. It was sad because I missed it – I was working. Of course, she’s rolled over 100 times since then, but I missed the first one. My brain kept telling me “Don’t overreact. It’s not a big deal. There are going to be a million ‘firsts’. Don’t sweat it.” Unfortunately, my heart didn’t agree. I found myself crying at my desk. Absolutely pathetic. At least nobody saw me!

– I continue to be annoyed daily by the idiots of the world. I would be so much happier if we could eliminate cigarette litterers, cops on segways, low-rider cars, traffic and bumper stickers.
Sleep training is going ok. The “cry-it-out” part is getting easier and shorter. But she’s still pretty inconsistent with her sleeping. Last night was a good night, but the night before was a very bad night.
– I LOVE living on Alki. I think it’s one of the most awesome neighborhoods in Seattle. LOVE IT!
– We had a lovely father’s day on Sunday. We had some friends over for brunch and then had the rest of the day to relax. It was perfect!
– Derek, my mom and Kristen sat me down the other day and had an “intervention” for me. For my shoulder. They are worried that I’m not doing my physical therapy and that it’s not getting better and won’t get better. It was all very dramatic and over the top. The truth is that I’m exhausted and the physical therapy takes an hour each night. But, I know that they are right and that I do need to make more of an effort. I’m only hurting myself. In fact, I need to wrap this up so I can get to it.
23
May
12

smarty pants.

I promise to post some recent photos of Jolie soon – but I had to share this one! She’s in her aunt’s glasses. It just cracks me up!

09
May
12

jolie’s birth day.

Since mother’s day is approaching, I thought it would be a fitting time to tell the story of how I became a mother. There are no words to describe what a whirlwind Jolie’s birth was. I’ve tried writing this so many times now and I’m really struggling. Nothing I write seems to express how emotional and deeply personal the experience was for me. This is the best I can do…

The evening started off fun! I met Stacy for dinner at Tup Tim Thai and we had a lovely evening catching up! I felt completely fine. Later that evening, I felt a small rush of fluids. Nothing big (a couple tablespoons at best). I just chalked it up to weird pregnancy stuff (which happens a lot). Then it happened again about 20 minutes later. By the 3rd or 4th “rush” I started to get nervous. This just didn’t seem normal. Derek was convinced that I was overreacting, and I figured I probably was too. Regardless, I called the nurse hotline. They told me that it was probably nothing, but that I should come in just to be safe. So we jumped in the car, determined to make it a quick trip.

To my surprise they told me to get comfortable because I would not be leaving the hospital until the baby was born (so much for having a bag packed and being ready)! My water had broke. They explained that in cases of a premature rupture there is increased risk of infection. That being said, it was still important for the baby to stay put and develop. The ideal situation would be for me to hold out until 34 weeks at which point they would induce. However, if I started laboring sooner than 34 weeks they wouldn’t stop it. On Wednesday night when I checked into the hospital I was 32 weeks and 5 days

By 3pm the next day I started going into labor. I was completely panicked – it was too soon. What happened to my week-long hospital stay?!? SCARY! I’m not going to go into too many details here, but I labored and labored and pushed and pushed. And finally after being in labor for 15 hours the doctor determined that I had the wrong pelvis shape to deliver the baby. A c-section was ordered. About 20 minutes later (at 6:23am Friday morning), my beautiful daughter Jolie was born. She surprised us all and tipped the scale at 5lb 2oz and 18 inches which is huge for a 33 week old baby. Jolie spent the next 34 days in the NICU and came home with us on January 18th.

Jolie’s birth and subsequent NICU stay was the single most emotional and trying time in my life. I was completely unprepared for the intense love and deep anxiety that goes along with having a preemie. There is just no way to prepare for it. We were so lucky to have a wonderful medical care team and a strong support system in our friends and family. Thank you to everyone who called, texted, visited, prayed, etc – we are eternally grateful. I do have a couple people I’d like to thank individually.

Dr. Cricket Davenport (OBGYN) and Dr. Andrew Beckstrom (Neonatologist) – Thank you for your compassion and strong leadership. When you’re faced with traumatic situations, you want confident and competent doctors – which you were. We deeply appreciated you taking control of the situation while carefully explaining what was happening to us. Thank you for delivering my healthy baby girl.

Barb the NICU Nurse – There will always be a place in my heart for you. You were the first person who let me hold my daughter and you were our biggest advocate to release Jolie from the NICU. You were always there with words of encouragement, practical advice and hugs when we needed them. I will forever be grateful to you.

My sister – I will never be able to thank you enough for your support. Sitting with me by Jolie’s crib for hours. Keeping me company. Driving me around. Making me eat. Listening to me cry (which I’m sure got old).Celebrating her milestones. And snuggling with the boot when I couldn’t be there.  I can honestly say I would have never gotten through it without you.

My mom – Who shows me by example everyday how to be a good mom. We are so thankful for all your constant love and support.

Derek – I didn’t think it was possible to love you more than I did, but I do. I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive and involved husband. You were such a pillar of strength for me – never once getting frustrated with my never-ending flood of tears. My heart grows every time I see you with our daughter; she adores you. And we are both lucky to have you.

Jolie – My sweet baby boots. You are so amazing – thank you for being such a fighter!  You have brought so much joy to our lives and I cannot imagine life without you. I’m excited to see you experience all the wonderful things that life has to offer. I’m honored to be your mother.

Here are some of Jolie’s first photos. She looks so different now, it’s hard to believe she was ever so small and fragile.

04
May
12

i’m back.

After much internal debate, I’ve decided to continue to blog. Even though I’m really short on time (and sleep) these days, it seems worth it. I love having a record of my life. Being able to look back and reflect on all the good times.  That being said, it’s a little daunting now that so much time has passed. How do I possibly sum up the last 5 months?!?  Where do I start?

I guess I’ll just jump right in. On December 16th, we had a baby! Her name is Jolie and I absolutely adore her. I’m brimming with love and beaming with pride. The story of her birth is something that I want to record and share, but it’s long and emotional and deserves its own post. I was lucky enough to spend 16 weeks off work with her and I have just recently returned to work. I’m not going to lie – it’s been hard. Part of me is happy to rejoin a world where showers are a daily occurrence and there is activity to stimulate my brain. The other part of me is aching for Jolie. I’m afraid that I’m missing out. Scared that I won’t be the one that she seeks out when she needs comforting. Terrified that someday I may regret the decision to work.  I feel like I’m trying to do a million things and I’m not doing anything well. I could go on and on about this club that I’ve joined – the working mom club. It’s a club that you cannot relate to until you’ve joined.

One thing that has made it easier to return to work is that my  husband is taking 8 weeks off to stay home with the boot. It’s been a much easier transition for me than if we were already taking her daycare. And she LOVES being at home with her dad. But daycare D-day is quickly approaching and is looming in the back of my head. The good news is that Jolie will only be going to daycare 3 days a week and we feel really comfortable and very excited about our daycare situation. I couldn’t be more pleased with the daycare itself – I think it’s going to be perfect.

Over and out for now. It’s good to be back.




a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.