- Grown adults who wear cartoon characters on their clothes (tweety bird, tigger, mickey mouse, etc.) It’s just weird.
- Seattleites who drive convertibles – get a life. That car doesn’t make you cool; in fact it reeks of insecure-douchebag.
- Grocery store clerks who are rude. Yes QFC lady who checked me out tonight…I’m talking about you. I’m sorry I inconvenienced you tonight by shopping.
- Email senders who write full paragraphs in the subject line. That’s not what the subject line is for. New to email?
- Seattle buses that take up every single lane on 4th ave and clog up traffic. Apparently devoting all of 3rd avenue to them, giving them a bus lane on every other street and building an underground bus tunnel just isn’t enough.
- The Twilight series. I know I’m going to get a lot of resistance and objection to this one. But if I hear one more grown woman say they wish they were a vampire or that it’s the best love story ever, I think I’m going to end it. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I kind of miss it when they were all obsessed with Harry Potter. At least it didn’t seem so cheesy.
- My face. I’m practically 30 and I’m still breaking out like a hormone-drenched teenager. Just call me “zit-face brownlee”.
- Fake people. It must take a lot of energy to try so hard. Please don’t waste your energy on me.
- The phrase: “Holy Schnikes!” Ewww.
Archive for August, 2009
This weekend I attended a bachelorette party in Scottsdale, Arizona. We had so much fun! Friday night we dressed up in 80s gear and went roller-skating. Saturday we went to a fun dinner and then dancing. Congrats Erin P. We are SO happy for you; can’t wait for your big day in Fres-yes!
1) It’s been several weeks since Derek and I have cooked together. Tonight we joined forces to make dinner – and it sure was fun. The most notable part of the meal was Derek’s cauliflower mashers (instead of mashed potatoes). They were really good! Different – but good. We both decided we’d be making these again so we can perfect them.
2) We went to Trader Joe’s today to grocery shop – and MAN I forgot what a great place it is to buy wine. HELLO?! We stocked up. 6 bottles.
3) The other day, Derek brought home the book Columbine by Dave Cullen. He’s been on the library waiting list for 4 months to get the book. This morning I started reading it and I couldn’t put it down. I read 100 pages earlier and as soon as I’m done with this post I’m going to hit it again. It’s a different angle of the story, different from what I’ve heard before. And I’m really enjoying Cullen’s writing. READ IT.
4) Even though I think it’s completely superfluous I really love our subscription to Sirius radio.
5) Saturday we went to the jeweler to look at ring settings (my diamond is currently in a temporary setting). At first I was really overwhelmed with all the options, but then I settled down and it was really fun! I found a few settings that I liked, but I think we’re going to design our own setting because I want to make a few modifications.
I got a forward today at work – it was someone’s “random thoughts of the day”. Usually I ignore forwards, but I trust this particular forwarder. I laughed out loud at least three times. And in my book, that’s worth reading. It’s a little long, but there are some jewels buried in there. (I have no idea who wrote these random thoughts– it wasn’t me). Enjoy!
- I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
- That’s enough, Nickelback.
- I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
- The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.
- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d*ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm….Goonies”
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died…
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: “Dave caught the swine flu last night.”
- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
- There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
- I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
Considering my last post, this feels really weird to write about, but I’m so appalled I have to. Have you heard of AshleyMadison.com? I had heard about it, but last week while I was traveling in Alaska I actually saw a commercial. You can view it here – here’s another one.
Essentially this company has capitalized on infidelity. AshleyMadison is a website that connects married people if they want to have an affair anonymously. It’s a match.com for married people and they have 3.86 million users. This concept bothers me on so many levels.
I find it disgusting that someone is making money off this – although I have to say, I place more blame on the users than the website owner himself. These people would be having affairs regardless if this site existed. That being said, I’m not sure how this guy (the owner) lives with himself. He claims to have a healthy marriage. I hope his wife is an active member of his site – anonymously.
The whole thing is so premeditated. For some reason, I always assume affairs are accidents. Someone grows apart in their marriage and falls in love with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning it when it happens that way; it just seems more realistic to me. But with Ashleymadison 3.86 million people sign-up. Login. Seek out others. And then meet them. Unreal.
I guess the part that mystifies me the most is why these people don’t get a divorce. If you are SO unhappy in your relationship, just end it. And then you can date and sleep around as much as you want. Ashleymadison’s tagline is “Life is short. Have an affair.” How about, “Life is short. Take control of your life and stop being such a coward.” The whole thing makes my skin crawl.
I have a very exciting announcement. This weekend, the man of my dreams proposed! Yes, that’s right, after 8+ years we are engaged.
Here is how it went down. Derek and I were in Alaska last week and one night we stayed at the Alyeska Resort. It’s a beautiful property and we were very excited to be staying there. Unfortunately, I had a cold, but I was doing my best to ignore it. As we were getting ready for dinner, I started noticing that Derek was acting a little strange. I couldn’t pin-point it at the time, but he was really anxious. All the sudden, it just popped into my head. Omg, he’s going to propose. My realization was then followed by 20 minutes of inner-conflict. Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not going to propose. Don’t be that girl. You are going to get your hopes up and then be really disappointed when it doesn’t happen. And you’ll ruin a lovely evening. Just stop Kindra. And so, I successfully pushed the thought out of my head.
The Alyeska Resort is a ski resort and the restaurant (called Seven Glaciers) is located on top of the mountain. To reach the restaurant, you take a gondola from the hotel up the mountain. The setting is absolutely beautiful – you can see seven glaciers from the top! It’s very romantic. We had a wonderful dinner. Delicious. I ordered the tasting menu, which was really fun! Derek ordered the King Crab legs (which he barely touched – very uncharacteristic). In retrospect, I should have clued in at this point, but like I said, I had pushed it completely out of my mind.
After dinner was completed, he finally worked up the nerve. Time went very slowly for a few minutes. He set the ring on the table, teared-up and asked me to marry him. Short, sweet, sincere. Perfect.
Our annual family camping trip was this past weekend and, as usual, memories were made. The nine of us including our kids and the boyfriends, floated the raging Yakima River, engaged in riveting campfire conversation and just about had the whole lot of our tents blown into the river by the non-stop Ellensburg wind. Such is camping. You never really know if you’re going to get rained out, blown out, bug-bitten out, or campfire-smoked out. It’s funny how we leave our tidy homes, cozy beds and convenient kitchens to live in the woods for a few days like we’re wild people. Cooking over fire, sleeping on the ground, getting filthy from the dirt and grime you can’t avoid in nature, all the while, longing for a real shower. And yet, we keep going back for more. Why? These are the trips that are talked about over and over again. Every camping excursion seems to have a collection of incidents that are specific to that place and time. The oh-yeah-that-was-the-trip-when stories, and those you-had-to-be-there stories that no one else is even mildly interested in, but laughs or listens anyway to be polite. This trip, a few of those memorable moments were:
- we camped on the corner of I-5 and I-405
- we had a rough encounter on the banks of the river
- we were introduced to a man named “Fire”
See? None of these make any sense to you, but each of us will smile when we read them. I can’t wait until next year! (Sorry, no pictures – Derek is busy this week too!)