monkey off my back

Many of you already know this, but for those of you that don’t, my sister is dating Derek’s brother. Yes, we are dating brothers – I know, I know…it’s like Darlene and Becky on Rosanne.

Derek and I have been dating for many, many years (almost seven). He is close with his family – and I am close with mine. Over the years, we have grown very attached to the other’s family. I know it sounds cliché, but I think of his family as mine. I love his parents and adore his brothers. They’ve become a big part of my life. As you can imagine, it felt weird and incestuous when one of them started dating my sister.

They have been dating for over two years now. When it first happened, I thought it was funny; I laughed it off. I thought it wouldn’t last, but it soon became apparent that it wasn’t just a fling. I’m embarrassed to say that I began feeling very weird about it. I was so conflicted. On the one hand, I was thrilled that they were both happy. On the other hand, I felt cheated. I lost part of my sister. I couldn’t talk to her about “sisterly things” because I was nervous she would tell him. Plus they were constantly encroaching on my space. They were everywhere. At Derek’s parent’s house – they were there. At my parent’s house – they were there. Holidays. Birthdays. Parties. You name it – they were there. Were they trying to be us? For a long time, I felt conflicted and confused. I constantly had this pang of guilt for being selfish. They were happy, how could I be so self-centered?

I’m proud to announce that I’m officially ok with it. I’m not even sure when it happened – but I am. Today, I was watching them interact and they seem so happy – it warmed my heart. I’m realizing all of the positive things that come with it. My sis and I always get to spend holidays together. She understands Derek’s family dynamics. And most importantly, they are both happy and in love.

Ultimately, I’m not sure what will happen with them – only time will tell. But, I can tell you that it feels great to have that monkey off my back. Hooray!

4 Responses to “monkey off my back”

  1. 1 Derek
    May 12, 2008 at 9:32 am

    Cute truth. What are my dynamics? :/

  2. 2 Stacy
    May 12, 2008 at 10:25 am

    Are you SURE it’s almost 7 years that you’ve been with Derek?? We all know you tend to forget how old your relationship is!

  3. May 12, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    I always knew your sister liked alcohol but getting a boyfriend named ALE is taking it to the next level! I was thinking a while back how convenient it is that Kang and Willy get to just keep the same in-laws for 2 of the boys. Must be nice!

  4. 4 Ryan
    May 26, 2008 at 9:22 am

    Very Truthful….good blog. I like you you mention understanding family dynamics.

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a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.

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