Archive for April, 2008


no more good-byes

Derek moves in with me one week from today – for good. Not for a summer. Not for a month. For good. I can’t even explain how liberating and exciting this is. I get to see him every day. I will fall asleep next to him every night and wake up next to him every morning. Happy hour after work? Yes. The market on Sunday mornings? Yep. Sushi for dinner tonight? You know it!

For those of you who have ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how heartbreaking it is. It constantly nags at your heart. It never escapes your sight. You can’t forget it. By Saturday morning, you’re already dreading the Sunday night good-bye. He looks different every time I see him. I know it sounds bizarre, but it’s true.

The pressure to have amazing weekends can also be daunting. What if you get in a fight? Then you’ve wasted a day. What if you have errands to run? That’s boring. Not enough sex? Too bad, because you have to wait two weeks now. Then there’s always the question of other people. Do you include other people in your weekend? Or do you keep to yourselves? These are the realities of a long distance relationship.

For the last seven years, Derek and I have been doing the long distance thing. It’s been ok. We’ve handled it pretty well. What was the alternative? We felt it was our best option. Now I feel like we can handle anything.

As much as I hate to admit it, there are a few positive things about long distance relationships. You build incredible levels of trust – it’s impossible if you don’t trust your partner completely. You learn to appreciate and value each other – you don’t take each other for granted. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. But I’m already fond enough. It’s time to eliminate the absence. No more good-byes.

Twenty years from now, we’ll look back on this time in our relationship and laugh. And we’ll say it was well worth the wait (and then we’ll kiss).


warning: it’s addictive

TypeRacer is so much fun. My best score thus far is 77 wpm.


random things that have made me laugh

  • Other people’s weird laughs. I work with some weird laughers. When I started at this job, I was shocked – absolutely stunned by these laughers. It’s hard not to join in!
  • Under bites on people who are trying to act cool or tough. Try it. Push out your jaw so your bottom teeth are in front of your top teeth. DO IT. Now, look incredibly serious and cock your head sideways. It’s funny, right?
  • Everybody Loves Raymond. I don’t know why, but this show just cracks me up EVERY TIME I watch it. I mean it – every time. It’s on TV right now and I’ve laughed out loud at least six times. That’s pretty incredible. The weird part is, I shouldn’t like it. I’m not the target audience. I have nothing in common with the characters. And yet, I can’t get enough. It’s a mystery.
  • The word “nards”. I have a friend that says “nards”. He he he!
  • My 7 year old brother Nathan (one of the triplets), was getting in trouble for calling his brother a “terd”, so he made up a new word to use instead. The word is “tert”. Tert! Tert! Tert!
  • And of course….this photo:


salt & vinegar

The other day, a coworker bought me a much needed mid-day snack. She walked up to my desk and said, “I got these Kettle Salt & Vinegar chips because they perfectly describe you.” As you can imagine, I was anxious to read the description. What could I have in common with a bag of chips? Saturated fat? Makes loud crunching noise? Greasy? I did not like where this was headed.

I snatched the bag from her hands. On the bag, in big bold letters it said “unconventionally STRONG and tangy”. I honestly think it’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever received – it’s perfect!



About a year ago, my doctor recommended that I get the HPV vaccine (Gardasil). Apparently, 26 is the cut off age – so I felt the need to start the series immediately. It is a three-shot series and yesterday I got the last of the three. I have to tell you, it hurts like a MOTHER! My arm feels like someone stabbed me with a butter knife and is twisting and turning it in meaty part of my shoulder. Ew – “meaty part” of my shoulder. Why did I describe myself as “meaty”? Must be an insight into how I’m feeling about my weight. Anyway, I wish my arm would just fall off. And since I’ve had this done twice before, I know I have another three days of dead-arm to look forward to.

Oh well – here’s to a cervical cancer-free future!


don’t forget the compassion.

Today, I was extremely wrapped up in my own day and in my own life. I was engrossed in my “To do” list and angry about this weird swollen bump on my face. I was completely caught off guard when a friend emailed me out of nowhere and said, “Today, my sister would have turned 42.” Her sister is dead.

It broke my heart and seared me to my core. Here I am, stressing about my face and my workload and she’s just trying to get through the day without an emotional breakdown. It was an important lesson to me – you just don’t know what other people are dealing with day-to-day – a freshly broken heart or a dying parent. A nasty divorce. A battle against cancer. Another miscarriage or a recent layoff.

As you move through your day and interact with the people around you, just remember that you don’t always have the full story. Before you get frustrated with a grouchy sales clerk or a flakey friend – there could be more at play than you know. Don’t forget the compassion.


the ruthless gardener

The weather this weekend inspired me to purchase and plant my summer produce. Last year, I grew tomatoes and basil. This year, I decided to step it up a notch. I’ll be growing:

  • Tomatoes (5 varieties)
  • Basil
  • Cilantro
  • Chives
  • Bush cucumbers
  • Red Bell Peppers
  • Anaheim chili
  • Walla Walla Sweet Onions
  • Strawberries (2 varieties)

For those of you who have seen my patio, you are probably thinking that I went overboard. I think you may be right!


quarter year review

Now that we’re a quarter of the way through 2008, I thought it would be a good idea to evaluate my goals for the year and see where I’m at. I’m going to rate myself on a scale of 1-5 (5 being completed; 1 being a failure).

Start blogging (2-3x per week)

4 – So far so good! I’ve been blogging regularly since the end of December and loving it. My blog has provided me with a great creative outlet and has allowed me to explore my writing. It’s weird. I thought I would run out of things to say, but I haven’t. I still struggle with how much to disclose and where to draw the line. Some days I wish I could be more candid. Other days I freak out that I’ve disclosed too much.

Thanks to all of you who have been loyal readers and supporters. Your clicks and comments have given me the confidence to continue writing and blogging. As of today, I’ve reached 51 posts; 4,634 views; 137 comments, 10 categories and 195 tags. My best day ever was 210 views.

Experiment with new recipes (at least 2 new recipes per month)

4 -Success! I have been trying new recipes and overall it’s been a lot of fun. For me, the hardest aspect of cooking is making the time for it. I’m looking forward to summer when the local produce will be ripe. I’m going to explore as many local farmers markets as I can. I’m open to suggestions if you have a favorite.

Continue going to the gym (3x per week or more)

3.5 – So-So. Up until my vacation I would have given myself a 4, but since I’ve been back from Punta Mita, the workouts have been few and far between. I’ve been good this week and I WILL get back into a steady routine. As summer approaches, I’m hoping I can train myself to get up and workout in the morning. That way, I’m free to play in the evenings. I’ll keep you posted on how that progresses, I’m not much of a morning person. It’s going to be tough.

Finish book proposal by the end of March

1 – Uh, not so good. I have worked on it, but it’s not even close to complete. I’m bored of it. Maybe it’s not as good of an idea as I originally thought. I’ll have to think about this goal a little bit more and decide if it’s worth revising. Maybe I should just ditch it. Or maybe I’m just being lazy and the thought of writing a book proposal has completely overwhelmed me. Not sure yet.

Pay off my car loan by the end of April

3 – I’m going to rate myself a 3 on this one. I’ve had a couple unexpected expenses come up. I don’t think I’ll have it paid off by April, but I do think I’ll have it paid off by August. Not too shabby.

Go to the dentist

5 – Complete! Well, actually that’s not completely true. My first visit is complete, but because my mouth situation is so bad, I now have a treatment plan (5 sessions and over $1000 later). I go for my second visit next week. Sigh. Now I remember why I never go to the dentist. Hopefully I’m on my way to better oral hygiene. I’m doubtful.

Overall, I’d say I’m doing pretty well. I’m averaging 3.417. I’ll keep checking in as the year progresses.


Flash Pillow Fight – Pike Place Market

This just cracks me up. Every time I hear about these “flash pillow fights”, I can’t help but laugh. First in Ballard, now in Pike Place Market. It’s weird – but funny!


weekend recap

I had such a great weekend – it’s a shame we’re already back to Monday. The weekends just go by too quickly. Highlights include:

  • Happy Hour at Dexter & Hayes Thursday AND Friday.
  • A yummy sushi dinner at Kisaku in Tangletown. Limited roll selection, but good sushi and very reasonably priced. Sake bombs were fun too.
  • Bustin’ a move in Queen Anne with Stacy and Richie – I think we may have made our own dance party.
  • Watching Richie lose use of her legs and crawl into my apartment.
  • A big group dinner Saturday night at the Old Town Alehouse in Ballard.
  • Morning coffee and a card game on the ferry with my sister. Just call us the Golden Girls! J
  • Breakfast (Streamliner diner) on Bainbridge Island with my mom, stepdad, sister and Derek.
  • A visit to Grandma Lavee’s house (Derek’s grandmother).
  • Visiting with Derek’s parents, aunt and cousin over a delicious lunch/dinner. Derek’s mom (Anita) is a fantastic cook!
  • Derek for four full days. What more could I ask for?!

Lowlights include:

  • Saturday morning…recovering from Friday night.
  • A parking ticket on the top of Queen Anne.
  • Running out of time this weekend – I really need to get my nails done – they are nastified.

When I grow up

I’m going to be a doctor. An Olympic swimmer. A professional skateboarder. There are people out there who were born knowing their passion and their future occupation. I’m not one of those people. I envy those people. It’s such a blessing to be born with a unique skill and a strong passion that shapes your life. What do I have? I’m good at a lot of things, but I’m not exceptional at any one thing. I’m well-rounded. Where does that leave me?

As I move through my 20s, I’m struggling with what I want to “do” with my life. Unfortunately, I’m extremely fragmented. I want to be a writer. I want to start my own business. I want go back to school. I have so many ideas and see so many opportunities. But I never act on them, or if I do I only “half” act on them. I never dive in head first; instead I approach the pool and test the cold water and then pull out. The responsible and cautious side of me always wins.

Part of my problem is that I don’t entirely trust myself. My ideas and excitement levels fluctuate so much that it’s hard to decipher a crazy idea from an idea I truly believe in. I feel like I should “just know” when I have a THE plan. The clouds will part and I will suddenly have clear direction. But that hasn’t happened yet. Does that mean I haven’t had a winning idea yet?

I want my work to be meaningful and fulfilling. I don’t want to be one of those 60 year olds who are saying, “I’m 60 and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” Although I can certainly relate, I find it kind of pathetic. Are they in that position because they never took a risk? Because they never found their passion? Or is it because some people are constantly changing and are never content where they are at?

Clearly I don’t have the answer. For all you firefighters out there that have known your life’s calling from day-one, consider yourself lucky. I hope I figure out mine someday. I would prefer sooner than later.


a kid tourist in Seattle

This weekend, my 7 year old sister (Sydney) and stepmom (Danna) came to stay with me for a “girl’s weekend”. Sydney is a triplet and the only girl in the trio. They live in Wenatchee, so it was a special treat to get to spend some one-on-one time with them.

They arrived in Seattle Saturday afternoon and we immediately headed downtown to see Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who.  Sydney was very excited to see it, and she loved it. I thought it was cute and had a good message.  The animation was fantastic.  After the movie, we jumped on the Monorail and headed over to the Seattle Center. Sydney had been wanting to go the top of the Space Needle FOREVER (or so she claims).  J I don’t think she was that impressed once we got up there.  We spent 15 minutes up there and she was ready to move on. In her defense it was cold, windy and rainy up there.  That night, we ate dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and then headed home.   

The next morning we woke up and headed to Ballard for breakfast.  We went to the Hi-Life in the old Ballard firehouse (a very kid friendly restaurant). After breakfast we drove downtown and walked around Pike Place Market. We watched them throw the fish and looked at all of the crafts and trinkets.  After the Market, we walked down to the Seattle Aquarium – what a hit! Sydney informed me later that it was her favorite part of the weekend.  The aquarium is interesting and does a good job of showing a wide variety of sea life. The highlights include octopi, sharks, sea otters, sea lions, and all kinds of strange looking fish.

All in all, it was a really fun weekend with Sydney and Danna.  It’s so fun to be a tourist in your own city, and it’s even more fun to be a kid tourist. Thanks for all of the fun!

a blog for anyone, but mostly for me.