I’ve spent the last thirty minutes trying to dream-up something to blog about. And I’m going to be honest – I’ve got nothing. Crickets over here.  Absolutely nothing. The weird part is that I feel guilty about it. I feel guilty about not posting on my own blog – like I just skipped class or something. WTF?!? Why do I do this to myself? I turn something that’s supposed to be fun and relaxing into a nagging obligation. It’s SOOO me. I have this innate ability to turn any task stressful because I can’t possibly miss an opportunity to put pressure on myself.  Sometimes, there just isn’t anything to blog about. No need to stress about it.

This is me. I’m neurotic – I can’t help it.

I would like to clarify my last post “peeking on facebook”.  I was not implying that everyone on facebook is guilty of those specific offenses. I wouldn’t generalize everyone like that! I was merely listing my personal reservations with the tool. I realize that you make it what you want. Just like a blog.

Personally, I don’t write a blog to keep others up-to-date on my life. If/when it happens, that’s just a bonus. I write as an outlet because I’m too scattered to get very far in my novel. I write because I enjoy it. I READ blogs because I love reading an entry that I can relate to. An entry that someone has crafted perfectly. My absolute favorites are the raw and emotional entries. To evoke emotion in something as short as a blog entry is an accomplishment. Some people can’t even successfully do it in a full novel!

I know I’m going to anger all you facebookers out there, but I have a confession. I’ve used Derek’s account to peek on facebook – twice. And I like it. I feel super sneaky. For years I have resisted myspace and facebook and for the past 3 months I’ve been toying with the idea of succumbing and joining. But I feel like I’m cheating on myself. I have several reasons for not wanting to join:

Reason #1: I hate (and this applies to my blog), when people think that online readership/viewing equals a real friendship. It doesn’t. In my opinion, you can’t have a meaningful relationship on facebook. Yes, it’s a great tool to keep updated but it doesn’t replace face time or even phone time. You can’t assume that because you read my blog that you know what’s going on with me. You know what I’ve chosen to share with the blogosphere. Same thing goes with facebook/myspace.

Reason #2: Social networking sites kind of feel like a popularity contest. The goal is to get as many friends as you can.

Reason #3: I keep telling myself I don’t have time to keep up a blog AND a facebook account. And I don’t. I don’t want to be online anymore than I already am.

Reason #4: I feel awkward situations coming on where I feel the need to accept invites from people I haven’t seen in 6 years. What is the appropriate way to handle this? Just accept everyone? I can see why some people have so many friends if this is the protocol.

All of these reasons are good, but they still don’t negate my two main attractions to facebook. 1) I like looking at all the photos. 2) I feel like I’m missing out – I wanna play too!

What’s a girl to do?

Dear Blog,

I’m sorry for being so lame and absent. I’ve been busy and have been neglecting you. To be honest, I’ve been questioning our relationship a lot lately. Maybe we should break up. It’s not you, it’s me. You don’t satisfy me the way you used to; it feels empty. I committed to this relationship for a year and we are quickly approaching our one year anniversary. I want to make it work. I really do. We’ve had some good times – but I’m not sure about our future.  Maybe we just need to refocus? I’m confused.

KB

Now that we’re a quarter of the way through 2008, I thought it would be a good idea to evaluate my goals for the year and see where I’m at. I’m going to rate myself on a scale of 1-5 (5 being completed; 1 being a failure).

Start blogging (2-3x per week)

4 – So far so good! I’ve been blogging regularly since the end of December and loving it. My blog has provided me with a great creative outlet and has allowed me to explore my writing. It’s weird. I thought I would run out of things to say, but I haven’t. I still struggle with how much to disclose and where to draw the line. Some days I wish I could be more candid. Other days I freak out that I’ve disclosed too much.

Thanks to all of you who have been loyal readers and supporters. Your clicks and comments have given me the confidence to continue writing and blogging. As of today, I’ve reached 51 posts; 4,634 views; 137 comments, 10 categories and 195 tags. My best day ever was 210 views.

Experiment with new recipes (at least 2 new recipes per month)

4 -Success! I have been trying new recipes and overall it’s been a lot of fun. For me, the hardest aspect of cooking is making the time for it. I’m looking forward to summer when the local produce will be ripe. I’m going to explore as many local farmers markets as I can. I’m open to suggestions if you have a favorite.

Continue going to the gym (3x per week or more)

3.5 – So-So. Up until my vacation I would have given myself a 4, but since I’ve been back from Punta Mita, the workouts have been few and far between. I’ve been good this week and I WILL get back into a steady routine. As summer approaches, I’m hoping I can train myself to get up and workout in the morning. That way, I’m free to play in the evenings. I’ll keep you posted on how that progresses, I’m not much of a morning person. It’s going to be tough.

Finish book proposal by the end of March

1 – Uh, not so good. I have worked on it, but it’s not even close to complete. I’m bored of it. Maybe it’s not as good of an idea as I originally thought. I’ll have to think about this goal a little bit more and decide if it’s worth revising. Maybe I should just ditch it. Or maybe I’m just being lazy and the thought of writing a book proposal has completely overwhelmed me. Not sure yet.

Pay off my car loan by the end of April

3 – I’m going to rate myself a 3 on this one. I’ve had a couple unexpected expenses come up. I don’t think I’ll have it paid off by April, but I do think I’ll have it paid off by August. Not too shabby.

Go to the dentist

5 – Complete! Well, actually that’s not completely true. My first visit is complete, but because my mouth situation is so bad, I now have a treatment plan (5 sessions and over $1000 later). I go for my second visit next week. Sigh. Now I remember why I never go to the dentist. Hopefully I’m on my way to better oral hygiene. I’m doubtful.

Overall, I’d say I’m doing pretty well. I’m averaging 3.417. I’ll keep checking in as the year progresses.

Great News! Today my blog was added to CitizenRain under their “scene” section and I also hit a new record views. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Greetings world wide web! I have finally started my own blog. I can’t tell you how good it feels – I’ve been thinking about it for a very long time.

Yesterday I wrote out my goals for 2008. One of my goals was to start blogging in 2008. I’ve been blalking (blog stalking) for awhile now and I’ve been feeling an intense calling to start contributing to all the noise. The good news is, I’m early! It’s only Dec. 19^th 2007. I wanted to set up my page early so I’m all set for January.

I’m still very unsure on how this blog thing will go. I don’t know how often I will blog or if I will even like it. I don’t know what I’ll blog about or how much personal information to share. I can’t decide if I want people to read this, or if I’m doing this solely as an outlet for myself. Should I talk about work? Will future employers someday look at this? Clearly I have some issues to work out.

Lastly, I want to give credit where credit is due. “Just another day in paradise” is a phrase that a former coworker used frequently. It would be wrong not to mention it.

I’ll be back in January – stay tuned!