I don’t mean to make light of a global epidemic, but I think that half the hype surrounding swine flu is a result of the name. The name conjures up images of humans growing snouts and sprouting wiry pig tails. Remember in Pinocchio when he’s at Pleasure Island and the kids start turning into donkeys? That is the image I get in my head when I hear “swine flu” (on a side note, that part of the movie was really creepy now that I think about it).

Had this same virus been called “influenza type 19” or “blue sky flu” nobody would have cared. But because it’s called “swine flu” people are freaking out and Egypt has unnecessarily slaughtered 300,000 pigs. Think about it. Mono can be a pretty bad virus, but I practically want to get it because it’s called “The Kissing Disease”.  Sounds kind of nice. Maple Syrup Urine Disease – YES PLEASE!

Yellow Fever. Pink Eye. Ringworm. Small pox. Mad Cow Disease. I rest my case.